Dear Madam Tussauds you have done no wrong in my eyes...

In the words of Phaedra Parks from the real Housewives of Atlanta  If it walks like a duck, swims like a duck, and quacks like a duck, then it probably is a duck."

I'm sure you are getting my gist right about now. Earlier this month Madam Tussauds in Las Vegas released the wax figure of Nicki Minaj as demonstrated below on all fours based on a scene from her record breaking video for Anaconda. Immediately when I saw this figure I was really short of words and all I could do was gasp. Although I remember thinking how real it really looked.....

To be quite honest I really felt disgusted looking at it and thought to myself if she is really trying to be a role model like for young girls who look up to her and love her music this is definitely not helping in any way. 
















What then further fuelled my annoyance was a video on Facebook I watched by Janet Mock talking about Nicki Minaj as being a victim of violation and objectification. Sort of blaming Madam Tussauds which I think is out of line.

Can somebody please explain to me how Nicki Minaj is a victim in any way shape or form? 

Fair enough its a person's choice if you have chosen continuously to portray yourself as an image of lust and sex do you boo but then please accept the consequences of your actions!

According to Janet Mock via video she released on Facebook many people like her side eyed the figure in disgust, not because it depicts Nicki in a sexual way but because her "Her body is being taken out of context and being made to be some sort of prop, a stand in for other people's desires and fantasies''. Hold on I thought that's what the music industry was all about? correct me if I'm wrong but all I see in music videos these days is bum, boobs and basically nakedness. Why then suddenly when this figure is released Nicki is some sort of victim?

Poor Madam Tussauds they were just doing their job, doing what they always do with the celebrities they immortalize. Madam Tussauds in fact defended their choice to the Fader magazine  
by saying "We made the decision to celebrate Minaj's unforgettable pose (The Anaconda video) because it resulted as one of the most iconic videos ever produced. As with all people we immortalize in our attractions her representatives were kept informed every step of the way during the figure creation process"

By that statement it is clear that Nicki in fact was aware of the creation process and was informed every step of the way and could have refused the figure to be moulded in this sort of position but in fact she hailed the figure all over her social media calling it 'Iconic'.

If the so called 'Victim' herself is in awe of the figure and loving it why is it so shocking that visitors will be groping the breasts of the statue and fondling the figure?

It makes me so confused that Janet would say that Tussauds intentionally chose to position her this way on all fours and "didn't do enough to protect her". It is not as though this position has not been re-enacted in her music video. Janet it is not like the 502,618,840 and counting have not seen her do it on TV and probably replayed it over and over again and done what they need to do in the comfort of their homes. The only difference here girl is that people are living their fantasies in flesh in the public.

Lastly as a woman of colour myself and as a woman of colour that Janet Mock is, she says that historically women of colour have had their bodies framed as public property, as "mere objects to gawk and fondle".

Well what I will say is that this trend is still going on and its on voluntary basis. Take a look at the music videos and the adverts, 'women of colour' in the celebrity world choose to make themselves objects, they are not forced. We see it everyday in the music videos, so please Janet we are not victims we are the ones making ourselves objects.

The only way this objectification and perceived view of women of colour would stop is if they themselves wake up to the fact that we are not objects of sex for people's desires and sexual fantasies. Until then this will be the perceived view until I don't know when.....

It's going to take more than security forces to guard the perception and imagery that has already been waxed into the minds of the public even without this figure.....

Almost one year on... My Uni experience

1 year ago around this time there were about 41 days until I left home for Uni, time was ticking and the days were approaching where I would have to say goodbye and move 87.0 miles all the way to Buckingham. Home for me is South East London Catford and has been for almost all my life. As a young person I would say you yearn for independence at some stage in your life. The ability to be alone and have your own space without hearing your Mum at 7am on a Saturday morning shouting your name and telling you that you haven’t cleaned the dishes yet. I certainly do not miss that!

Although optimistic and excited I felt all sorts of nerves and I remember thinking to myself what would life in a Private University be like? My first thoughts and expectations was that I would be bored and that there wouldn’t be much to do in terms of activities because prior research let me know that Buckingham was a very small town. Believe it or not I even feared for my eyebrows, I thought to myself “Where will I go to get them threaded”? Simple things like that you see… Not to worry my eyebrows have not grown into a bush I have found where to get them done lol! 

Even better there is an onsite salon which keeps us students looking prim and proper!

Asides that I was scared if I would make friends and what my uni accommodation would be like. I even pictured myself as a recluse because I didn’t imagine that I would have time to socialise as it is a two year intensive degree. Even the thought of meeting my future husband crossed my mind once or twice, ok maybe even three times. “You never know Zoe you could meet him” “A lot of people meet their spouse at University” Truth is everyone’s story is different and just because it happened in a particular way for one person does not mean it would be the same for me. It is a year on almost and nope I haven’t seen my future husband yet lol! ;)

But you’ll be pleased to know I am not a recluse and I have found plenty of things to do to have fun. Buckingham isn’t boring after all. 

Saying goodbye on the cold windy day of 26^th of September to my family and crossing the bridge on Hunter Street to the OTM was not easy. I could tell my mum bid me farewell quicker than I could even say bye to avoid the awkward exchange that would result in tears. Even as I watched her drive off the gulp in my throat became inevitable and I shed a few tears as I made my way across the bridge to the  Old Tanlaw Mill where the life and personality of my fellow students old and new breathed forth. I felt like I was walking into the unknown but there was no turning back. I could hardly look at anyone in the eye I think I was even shyer than a 5 year old little girl by that point. 

I didn’t know who to talk to, how to even socialise or where to start from. Everyone looked like they had made friends already and were already so chatty and bubbly. I thought to myself was there a book that I should have read prior to coming to know how to make friends? I wanted the ground to swallow me up. But before it could happen my now good friend Harriet saw me sheepishly walking up and down the bar area contemplating if I should scurry back to my room. She introduced herself to me and we got talking and we have been inseparable since then. 

From then up until this point there have been so many memories, I have found my one year experience here to be very interesting. Very much like any other student experience there have been times when I have cried myself to sleep as I have felt so homesick but then I think to myself ‘Zoe you are only one hour 30 minutes by train away from home”. My eyes have been opened culturally as there are some many diverse people here. You would think each season we are in a different country, from Holi, to Nigerian Independence Day to society fair days. It has been amazing!

Oh and the 4am party nights where you end up coming home and finding that you can only sleep for about 5 hours. 

Uni has been an amazing experience so far and I look forward to the remaining year. I've almost seen it all I think, from people walking into class half asleep in their pyjamas to people doing their assignements last minute until early hours of the next morning and then getting a better mark than me :( I haven't mastered the art of lastmin.com yet.

I am enjoying every moment of it, the trips to Milton Keynes to shop, my communications, Media and Journalism degree is amazing and I feel fulfilled.

If you search Buckingham news on YouTube you may even see me anchoring the news :)

It's not my cup of tea

Hey guys,

I will pick right back up like I never left you. I'm so sorry for the long silence, lack of posting I've been crazy busy with Uni and everything else.

Today's post may seem a bit reflective and honest but it is what I'm feeling and I'm sure many of you reading have felt it too.

It's a very British thing to say 'He or she is not my cup of tea' it is a way to describe a dislike for something in a polite way. This phrase has been resounding in my head for some days now and not particularly due to something I don't like but because I feel I may not be some people's cup of tea. Reading this you may think 'Gosh c'mon Zoe that's common sense, you win some, you lose some' but for me in my head I've been living in a world where I feel that once you give love it is an automatic thing that you will receive it back. Basically in my ideal world love would be reciprocal.....

I have lived 8767 days here on earth and no I did not just count every single day since 199* up until now on my calendar I used Age calculator. 8767 may be a lot of days for me to have realised that 9 times out of 10 love is in fact not reciprocal and there will be many instances where you will feel emotionally cheated whereby you are the only one giving, giving, giving and the other party is taking. Nope I am not in a relationship for those wondering I am talking about simple platonic relationships.

My lovely mother has always warned me by saying 'Guard your heart Zoe' 'You go far to deeply emotionally into friendships' 'Take people for who they are' 'Don't be surprised if you are treated differently from what you expect'. I have heard it time and time again but I still choose to give people the benefit of the doubt and continue to let my feelings get hurt without voicing it out to the other person. It may not be a deliberate act from the other person but trust me I am way too sharp not to realise a sudden change in character.

I think I speak on behalf of the majority that if anyone has a problem with you as a person you would much rather prefer to be told then to be treated as though you are dirt on a person's shoe. For someone like me who has a mountain of insecurities little things trigger me off and drag me into a world of non-stop thinking. 'Was it something I said' 'What's the sudden change in attitude' 'What could I have possibly done' These are some of the things that will be playing on my mind for hours on end. If you're lucky you may even get a tear out of me.

It's sad but it is reality... These things happen time and time again to me and unfortunately for me I'm way too childish to learn from previous occurrences. Maybe it's the new trend that I'm still not used to. I think the trend is called like me today and loathe me tomorrow !

who knows? Only God knows ....

But from this day forward it's time to guard our hearts! Who's with me?

x x x